who you tryin’ to get crazy with ese? don’t you know i’m coco?

You know how I’ve been on a bit of a tirade lately about natural products for skin?  Well, I’ve decided to share a number one beauty tip for those of you wanting to treat your body to the most natural of products guaranteed to soak in to your lovely bod and not freak it out with mental synthetic chemicals.

When you rub lotions, potions, creams and whatever else you got going on in to your beautiful skin your body DRINKS it up.  Now, if it’s a list of ingredients with words longer than the palm of your hand then you know you’re on to a LOSER!  If it’s the kind of ingredients that are likely to get a mad scientist excited then it’s a big NO NO NO NO!  It’s great to aim for as natural ingredients as possible.  Let me tell you a story – it’s not very exciting but it’s just come in to my head and feels pertinent.

A few months ago now I was walking through Frasers Department store and was stopped by this young man who stopped me in my tracks exclaiming that I must really look after my skin.  Cue me falling for the first sales trick in the book.  So he got my attention.  “Oh” he said “let me tell you all about this natural eye product I have” and without a word of a lie he took a thumb sized amount and stuck it under my eye!  The cheek…or eye!  Anyway he’s busy telling me how it’s ALL NATURAL all ingredients are 100% natural.  Now I’m not that big of a sucker so I asked him for the box with the ingredients.  Well, it was all floxyhoxydecadhyrdoxlyphenylaloidtoxicbullshitaparaben so needless to say I wasn’t too impressed this was now gently working its way in to my precious undereye area.

“What’s that?” I said, pointing to said stupid ingredient

“Oh it’s natural” he replied very sure of himself

“Could I eat it?”

Blank stare

I told him it wasn’t 100% natural and I make a point of not using anything chemically on my precious bod and ran out the store frantically rubbing his horrid “anti-ageing” cream from my eye.  It was a bit stingy, maybe I should’ve sued 🙂

Anyway, the point I’m making…actually what was I making? Need to scroll up now.  Oh yes mad scientist ingredients aren’t the best.

I’m so glad I don’t watch tv anymore because one of the main reasons I’d give up on it altogether even if I had no other reasons (which I do) is bloody L’oreal adverts.  Actually, they would make me laugh so maybe I should watch it more eh?  New improved breakthrough technology with advanced Ridiculousium(TM) proven to reduce wrinkles by up to 87.6%* (* 38 woman tested kinda agreed).  Hilarious.  But yet the industry would have us believe that chemical laden cream and potions in a jar (of which we need at least a trillion each) are the answer to looking amazing.  Newsflash! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  Fresh air, water, exercise, healthy water+mineral-rich food and natural (in the truest sense) products. YESSSSSSSSSS!  Hardly rocket surgery is it?

Soooooo anyway, rant over, what is my number 1 amazing amazing amazing beauty ingredient?

COCONUT BUTTER/OIL – they are one and the same really.

This stuff is the bomb.com for moisturising all over your body to make it seriously soft and smooth.  It’s solid at room temperature but melts easily in to your skin to provide an all over softness and gorgeous smell!  My friend Lucy uses it to take off make up.  I also rub some on an old mascara brush and brush through eyelashes and brows to shape and condition.  It’s a bloody great lip balm.  GREAT for wrinkles around the eyes and sagging in general.  Fantastic on dry skin.  I have combo skin and it’s really great – don’t get freaked out by the oily aspect.  Simply take a pea sized amount for your face, melt in your hand and rub in gently.  It’s a great hair moisturiser too and can help to repair damaged hair or help dandruff by being rubbed in to the scalp.

 

Trust me this baby is all you need and it costs about £4 for a tub!  You don’t need forty billion different items when this baby will take care of so much!  Please do get the raw stuff tho, cheap crappy coconut butter ain’t gonna be as good.  Your body is gonna fall in love with you when you give it the loving it deserves by using as natural as you can get.  It’s gonna love you so much it’ll start sending you love letters with pictures of coconuts on! 🙂 Make sure you hide them from your husband tho…

 

Even better – you can eat it!  I eat about a teaspoon a day and it’s amazing!  It contains Lauric Acid which helps with viruses and bacteria causing diseases.  It fights harmful bacteria.  Better than that though it helps you LOSE WEIGHT as it contains short and medium-chain fatty acids that help in taking off excessive weight. It is also easy to digest and it helps in healthy functioning of the thyroid and enzymes systems. Further, it increases the body metabolism by removing stress on the pancreas, thereby burning more energy.  Finally (as if that wasn’t enough) it helps in improving the digestive system preventing various stomach and digestion related problems including irritable bowel syndrome as well as anti microbial properties dealing with various bacteria, fungi, parasites, etc., that cause indigestion.  It’s also fab for the immune system and helps in absorption of other nutrients such as vitamins, minerals and amino acids.

PHEW – whatta guy eh?

Give it a try and in a couple of weeks you won’t want to go back to the mad scientist labaratory trust me 🙂

So what else?

It was the Glasgow raw food monthly meetup yesterday in Botanic Gardens.  Bloody gorgeous day and gorgeous people.  Met a lovely lady called Gracey who is actually a mega amazing poet.  She shared a couple of poems with us and I thought this was was soooooo good I asked her to send it to me so I can share it with you.  Amazing!  If you can’t ‘read’ Glasgwegian then you might have a bit o’ trouble mind. 🙂

I’m sorry tae be an ‘in yer face with the truth’ fecker,

but you are what you eat, an’ A mean A’m big on marshmallas, curly wurly, double decker.

But A’v started tae change ma habits

for better, tae get fit.

You should already see the healthy colour

of my tongue, my piss, ma shit

Gillian McKeith would be proud to enrol me in her club

Well yi’ cannae dae it fur her, but yersel’ and there’s the rub

A just waant yi tae get a sense that it’s change from within that matters.

A mean Ye’ must know yersel’ that amount of curry’s would  leave yer arse in tatters!

But yi’ change when you waaant A think, no when somdae tells yi’

and then I’m sure the universe conspires tae lovin’ly help yi

 

If you are what you eat

good energy must replace every body molecule and cell

And so its gottie affect your mind, spirit, mood,

future growth as well.

 

Anyway, later fur ma tea it’ll be a mung bean thingy,

A’ll keep ma complimentary veggies near raw.

Later I’ll snack on carrot battons

with chick pea humus an’ awe

A’ll eat as much as a waant

and prolly no’ even get fatter.

A couldn’t even be tempted the noo

wi’ a sausage supper wi’ batter.

A’m sure A’m thinkin’ healthy

tae change fae gobbledy greed.

Coz me A’m holdin’ a new focus –

Noo A feel like a wee sunflower seed.

How cool is that?  Gracey will be performing on 19th June 2010 as part of the West End Festival at the ‘Uisge Beatha’ pub on Woodlands Road at 1pm – 3.30pm, as part of Lobey Dosser Day alongside other artists.

Have fun baby! xx