Do you have children? Because I don’t. I know, it’s such a tragic loss to society that I haven’t bred yet. Anyway, it seems there’s a helluva lot of people out there in the real world that do have actual children. And they want to help their kids eat more healthy. And they don’t know how the hell to do that. And so they’re coming to me. And I’m all like, ‘hey, I don’t even have kids‘ and that’s like, the lamest reason ever to not be able to help these parents.
And so I turn to you.
It’s like, 5 questions or something.
So yeah, if you wouldn’t mind it would be awfully magical of you to take five mins out and type some wordage along the lines of how you get your kids to eat raw or healthy food. That way I can put some sexy free infoid out there to parentals that will help them and ultimately save the whole planet.
And if you don’t have kids, because I’m not being all childrenist, you can fill in the survey anyway with a little joke to make me laugh.
YES, TAKE ME TO THE PAGE WHERE I CAN HELP SAVE THE PLANET AND RECEIVE MY FREE JUICER CLEANING UNICORN
Thank you so much!
Meantime, I leave you with this. Because I can. No, it’s not a link to Daddy Yankee.
*Unicorns can’t clean juicers because they don’t have opposable thumbs. And when you consider that the average juicer has eleventybillion parts to be dismantled, washed and rebuilt, having no opposable thumbs is going to be a bit of a fucking sticking point… even for a mythical creature from the magical realm. Plus they’re far too busy fighting the lizard people with rainbows to be worried about coming round your house to clean your juicer. Sucker.
This blog was written by Raw Food Scotland's previous owner, Emma Calvert. You can reach her at her new website, https://missmanifestation.com/