Mind I wrote a few weeks ago about my new found single life and what impact the raw food diet has on your relationship? Well, the lovely and gorgeous Lisa Simpson of Raw Liberty has very kindly agreed to guest blog with her own experience of how raw food affected her relationship…
Does raw food make you single? Let me share some of what has been going on for me. I started eating raw food in 2006, my intention was to gain more energy, improve my health, feel and look better, and lift those ever increasing ‘dark’ days – you know the ones, when you wake up feeling totally shite, and wishing you didn’t have to face the day?
What I didn’t realise, and certainly didn’t expect, was that it would open me up to myself, give me a clarity I never thought possible. Clarity about who I was, who I was becoming, and what I wanted out of life.
Raw food is not just about the food, it’s a whole person journey. It can open up the potential for you to grow at a different rate or perhaps in a different direction than you had been before. And if your partner is not growing with you, this ‘stuff’ is bound to affect your relationship to some degree.
And so came the realisation that I had spent so many years trying to be someone I’m not in order to be ‘the person’ someone else wanted me to be…and what’s more, I was failing miserably at it! I was losing me, my true self in the process!
This quote from of Neale Donald Walsch really sums up the situation (me being the ‘other’):
‘It is very romantic to say that you were ‘nothing’ until that special other came along, but it is not true. Worse, it puts incredible pressure on the other to be all sorts of things he or she is not. Not wanting to “let you down” they try very hard to be and do those things until they cannot anymore. They can no longer complete your picture of them. They can no longer fill the roles to which they have been assigned. Resentment builds. Anger follows. Finally, in order to save themselves (and the relationship), these special others begin to reclaim their real selves, acting more in accordance with Who They Really Are. It is about this time that you say they’ve really changed.’
I lost count of the times I heard the phrase “Other people’s wives…” and rather than listening to my spirit which was screaming inside – “…but I’m not ‘other people’s wives’, I’m ME!”, I would dust myself down and try again to be someone I’m not.
The clarity I gained from eating a high raw diet, showed me that, in this internal struggle, I was actually losing, losing myself, losing me.
He once said, “I don’t want to be married to someone who eats raw food!” I think that the intention behind this declaration was – ‘Go back to being normal, eat the same way as other people’s wives’. Five years later, his manifestation came to fruition…we are no longer together.
So…did raw food end my marriage? Make me single?
For the most part, no. There were so many other contributing factors at play, but the part raw food played in all of this was that it brought with it clarity. Clarity to realise that I was losing the one thing that was truly mine, ME! That I had a choice – give up who I am and live my life trying to be someone I’m not, in vain attempt to make someone else happy, or be true to myself and live my life as ME.
Is that really a choice? Simple as it may sound, it was the hardest choice I have ever had to make in my life, and believe me, it took years of heartache and soul searching to find the courage to take that leap of faith and believe in me, that I have a right to be me, that I am worth it.
Stacey Charter sums it up perfectly:
“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mould. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.”
For me, ‘raw’ and ‘liberty’ mean just that…a freedom to make choices. Having the freedom to choose what we eat, how we feed our bodies. It is my choice to eat a high raw diet; it serves me, my body loves it, I feel more alive, and so much happier. But it is a choice, I’m not a purist, I don’t push my choices on others; in return I would like my choices to be respected. We all have a right to freedom of choice don’t we?
And so here’s to Raw Liberty. Here’s to the freedom to be who I am, to stay true to myself. I have committed to being myself and so from now on, anyone who comes into my life will have to take me as they find me, to love me as I am..
What a beautifully honest and insightful piece of writing in to what was clearly a very challenging time. Thank you Lisa for your words.
This blog was written by Raw Food Scotland's previous owner, Emma Calvert. You can reach her at her new website, https://missmanifestation.com/