Dear Carrot Cake,
It’s been three months now since our dramatic love affair. I’m sure you’ll agree it was a beautiful time for both of us, whiling away the hours every day in Cafe Babalu…hot chocolate, books, music, ambiance. I do miss those days and the hours we spent together!
I’m so sorry things had to end the way they did. I thought that after three months I should write to you to put some closure on the relationship.
You see, first of all I had to acknowledge that our relationship wasn’t good for me. Simply the act of acknowledging what was happening between us and how it made me feel was the first step to me taking any kind of action to end things between us. I think before that I had been kidding myself that things between us weren’t that serious, I was ignoring the warning signs going off in my head.
Don’t get me wrong, I accepted fully the situation I found myself in. I was being so careful not to make it in to a huge deal. The truth is that these things happen sometimes, I could sit and contemplate for hours and days the reasons why you became my addiction. It really doesn’t matter why. Simply accepting the situation for what it was helped me to move on…
They say that if you do anything consistently for 21 days it becomes a new habit. I wondered to myself whether that was a part of it. I had spent far too much time with you, day after day. You became my new habit! I knew if I wanted to break free from you I just had to break the pattern. That’s why I didn’t go back to Cafe Babalu for three weeks! I just couldn’t trust myself to be close to you and not succumb. Breaking the pattern of our addiction is so important don’t you think?
I hope you’re not upset at me telling you but another way I got over you was to find someone else. Someone that was nicer to me, that treated me good, a healthier version of you! Yes, you may say I simply replaced one addiction for another but it too helped to break the pattern and allow me to move on. And this new person is much kinder to me and not as addictive as you…
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish we’d never met! They say a little of what you fancy does you good and I believe that. Truth be told if our relationship had continued then I think it would’ve just fizzled out anyway. I would’ve simply sickened myself of you. Sooner or later things end of their own accord. I just didn’t know how long that would take which is why I chose to take back my power end things when I did.
Sometimes we don’t realise just how much power we really do have to let go of something that’s not serving us. The first few days are the hardest but we really can do anything we put our minds to. We have to have faith in ourselves.
I think my addiction to you taught me a lot. I’m sure it met certain needs I had at the time and I love and accept that.
I hope you don’t miss me too much. Perhaps we’ll meet again one day…
Lots of love,
Emma
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