So I had this conversation with a woman in work today…
Her: Did you make your smoothie with a juicer or a blender?
Me: A blender. I do make juice but I like to do juices and smoothies to get the best of both worlds (fact)
Her: Oh! I have a juicer but I never make juice because I don’t want to have to clean the juicer.
How many times have you heard that? Not that conversation obviously, the cleaning the juicer bit?
I’ll tell you how many times I’ve heard it, shall I?
Fifty trillion billion.
And you know what?
I’m bored of it.
Bored bored bored. BO-R-E-D. emphasis on D and O and a little less emphasis on B.
What’s with this whole accepted belief that it’s not worth making a juice ’cause you have to clean the juicer?
Can we just put this to bed right now? I mean the erroneous belief, not your juicer. If you put your juicer in your bed I guarantee you will not sleep and your lover will have something to say. Unless he’s snoring, then you should totally put your juicer in the bed and turn it on. Hell, stick some cucumbers through it. That’ll learn him.
I mean seriously! If you’re not gonna clean your juicer, how important is your health? How busy are you that you can’t spare five sodding minutes cleaning the thing?
I’ll give you a list of five things right now that are way more hassle than cleaning a juicer:
- Shaving your legs every day! Nobody say I’m hairy, my hair just happens to grow super fast, ok? It’s because I’m healthy…and possibly a freak but let’s move on.
- Epilating your legs or any other part of your body. I don’t care what anyone says, Vodka, in copious amounts, IS required. I AM going to move off the leg hair thing now.
- Putting the duvet cover on the duvet – nobody tell me this isn’t hassle and frustrating enough to make you want to actually cry because it is. Someone come round and change my bedding for me.
- Photocopier machines that get jammed EVERY FUCKING TIME YOU USE THEM and insist on having all forty compartments opened and checked for random stray pieces of paper that could not have possibly got there UNLESS the machine secretly hoards some pieces just to fuck you off. True.
- Trying to connect to the Internet in my flat. This requires patience of at least two hundred saints who have PhDs in patience and who’ve all just got seriously laid and stoned.
My point is this.
Cleaning your juicer really isn’t that much fucking hassle.
It’s just one of those things we all complain about without really thinking, well, you know, all I have to clean is a few bits of machinery. It’s not rocket science.
What’s better? Having a clean juicer all the time wasting away on your kitchen surface or having some healthy nutritious juice inside your sexy body?
No brainer, right? And get this, the more juice you drink the more you don’t care about cleaning the juicer! Aaaaaah nobody told you that!
Clean the juicer WHILST enjoying your juice and dancing around your kitchen. That’s the key.
It’s so EASY! Emphasis on E and A and S and Y. EASY.
Get on it, bitch!
This blog was written by Raw Food Scotland's previous owner, Emma Calvert. You can reach her at her new website, https://missmanifestation.com/