Me Raw: You Cooked is a book I wrote about my experience going raw whilst living with a partner who wasn’t interested in raw food whatsoever. It’s such a common issue for people that make the transition to a raw food diet to find that their partner isn’t always wholly on board with the idea.
Let’s be honest, it’s a bit of a radical concept for most people, but when you’re so behind something and your loved one sees it as an annoyance or even a threat, then things can get a bit, err, tricky!
As ridiculous or unbelievable as it may seem, all kinds of issues may arise within the relationship following one partner’s decision to follow this path. I think it’s fair to say that Rod and I ticked the box for every single one of them and that’s why I wrote the book.
I wanted to show you that it doesn’t have to be war at the dinner table. However, before I could talk about the pitfalls and challenges that may arise and more importantly, how to overcome them, I needed to tell my story. Scrap that last sentence, we needed to tell our story. You see, it wasn’t just me that wrote the book! Rod also contributed with his version of what happened and I think that’s what so beautiful about the book, you can see from another perspective – something we could all do with sometimes don’t you agree?
For the purposes of this blog post it’s enough to say that in the days before raw food came along Rod and I had similar taste in food (cute pun) and shared meal times together, cooking and eating. Then I discovered raw and everything changed, more or less overnight. The next few months were by no means boring. Rod went from thinking this was just another fad to discovering that the person he was due to marry had transformed in to a totally different person! I just continued to do what I wanted without thinking so much about the impact it was having on him, more importantly, on our relationship! And so the story continued until eventually we decided we couldn’t live together any more. Yes really, all from my decision to go raw!
So where did we go wrong? You’ll need to buy the book for the full story but meantime, I know you all love to read about other people (it’s a basic human curiosity isn’t it?) so here, for your viewing delight, are just some of the snippets from my diary which are included in the book.
For more information about Me Raw: You Cooked visit here or click the image below
‘ I’ve decided to try and go raw. It just seems like common sense to me, I can’t believe I’ve only just discovered it! I’ve been dabbling here and there with different recipes for the last week or two and it’s a total high! I feel totally amazing. I ordered some recipe books online today and I’m really looking forward to them arriving. Granted going in to winter probably wasn’t the best time to try it out as it’s bloody freeeezing!’
This is freaking me out a little bit. Since eating more of the raw food diet and basically restricting myself to veg, fruit, nuts and seeds I feel different. I feel like I’m seeing things a bit differently and becoming a different person. For one, I feel quite happy and relaxed. Those that know me well know I’m a moody, grumpy, uptight shit most of the time so this is a good thing.
I got a really good book on the raw thing called detox your world and I’ve now finished it and think this is definitely the way I’d like to go. Rod is taking the utter piss out of me as last night I was talking about ions and he thinks I’m losing the plot.
And I think maybe I am, but then I thought maybe I’m finding it instead?
God this sounds like I’m on crack but this is the crazy things that have been going through my head…
Anyway, still trying with the RAW thing and it’s going ok. Actually it’s fucking difficult, it’s a million times worse than stopping smoking no word of a lie. I’m getting there though, two meals a day are raw and the third is mostly raw. Made some nori (seaweed) wraps on Saturday (day of hangover). Put tonnes of energy in to cutting different things up dead small to stick in them. They’re a total bastard to get to roll. Needless to say I chucked them up half an hour later and won’t be touching seaweed again.
So today someone at work said that I am looking really well and glowing which I’m putting down to the food thing (definitely not pregnancy). The biggest amazing thing ever though is the fact I’ve just made ice cream from nothing other than a banana!. This is the most amazing thing on earth and nobody can tell me otherwise. I’m in awe.
Just made a green smoothie but it tasted funny. I bought some fractionated (had to Google what the fuck that was) Coconut oil today which was to go a) on my face and b) in my mashed sweet potato recipe that Paddy (my raw friend) sent me. Anyway so then I add some to my smoothie along with another 30 ingredients (no joke of a lie) but somehow it didn’t taste right. Anyways, I’m still in love with the green smoothies. They have quite literally changed my life and I’d recommend them to anyone. I know I sound mental but they do alter everything. Oh, my sweet potato mash turned out no bad but I’m not sure raw potato agrees with my tummy.
On xmas day I had cooked (veggie) thai green curry which was really nice but threw me completely. It’s hard to believe that going back to cooked even for one meal can have such an effect but it totally brings you down. Anyway, I’ve resigned myself to this is the life I want to lead now so it’s unlikely I’ll be eating much cooked stuff again woo hoo!
‘ I shouldn’t really have to compromise on this. If I really want it I should do it. I want to stay raw I really do but I also don’t want Rod to suffer nutritionally which he is. His diet seems to be getting worse. We are supposed to be going out on Saturday night. We desperately need to spend some quality time together but I don’t want to go out because I know it’ll mean me eating cooked food. I need to think about myself’ here. I suggested we had a romantic meal in the house where he ordered a takeaway and I pre-made a raw curry. It didn’t go down well. I guess nobody likes change.’
Fell out with Rod tonight, he is so negative all the time. I don’t think I can remember him being positive about anything. I so need positivity around me right now.’
‘ Tonight Rod was coming out with “you’ve changed”, “we can’t go out and eat together anymore” etc etc. I think he may have been just venting and having a rant. I did try to explain that I’m the happiest I have ever been and that there is no option for me to go back the way. It wasn’t an ultimatum, just a realisation that things have changed and it will take a bit of getting used to from both sides. I think deep down he knows that I am much happier. We shall see how things go over time…’
We postponed the wedding. I realised last night that this is the right thing to do. Take the pressure off. I don’t feel as if we can go ahead when things are like this. I just don’t know what’s going to happen it’s so crazy right now. I love Rod but it’s as if we’re both the same people but totally different people. I feel to blame but I can’t sacrifice my own happiness can I? I told him that this is the way I want to live, nothing can change that. I’m not prepared to go back on what I want to please other people. God. What’s going to happen to us? I wish we could stop arguing about everything.’
At present I find myself in a situation where I am living with someone who not only does not understand what I am doing but is resentful towards it and thinks it has changed me beyond recognition. Hard to believe we are talking about some food here isn’t it? When we first met I drank too much, smoked too much and didn’t take care of myself at all. I was badgered by him because of these things and now that I am the exact opposite it’s still not working! We have nothing in common and there can be long silences where we have literally nothing to say to each other. I tried to get him interested in the whole raw thing then gave up on that and for a period of time things improved. However now it has reached a new stage in separateness, we’re at an all-time low.’
This blog was written by Raw Food Scotland's previous owner, Emma Calvert. You can reach her at her new website, https://missmanifestation.com/