I won’t lie, I can’t cook for shit.
When I say I can’t cook, I literally mean that the most basic of cooking skills lie so far beyond my field of capabilities that I’ll wager if you pitted me up against a smacked-up junkie hamster, who’d had no sleep for two and a half months and was recovering from a semi-serious motorcycle accident where one of his hands (paws? whatever) was temporarily in a sling, the chances are he’d still whip you up something far more appealing than I could. True story.
There is however an up side.
I do make the best gods-damn smoothies on the planet.
*blows nearest trumpet*
Here’s a weird thing. My wonderful husband-to-be is a sensational cook. The things that man can do with potatoes would turn your hair white. But, he can’t make smoothies for shit (no offence, darling). Seriously. Actually, that’s probably unfair, he is getting better. Kind of.
Moving swiftly on.
I’m telling you this not to point out how wonderfully convenient that is for our relationship – which it totally is – but to illustrate a finer point.
You see, there’s a certain alchemy to smoothie making. A special je ne sais quoi. Same as with cooking. Some people just seem to ‘get it’ with regards to what will combine and work well. Some people don’t quite understand the subtleties, the ingredients that can turn your smoothie from oh-so-sexy to oh-pass-the-sick-bag.
With smoothies there’s a wisdom to knowing what superfoods go together, what flavours go together, consistency, sensation, the feeling you’re trying to invoke. It’s more than just dumping stuff in a blender and hoping for the best.
It’s an art.
When you get it right, a beautiful kind of magic unfolds in your glass, ready to engage your whole body and take you on an odyssey of wonder.
It wasn’t always like this.
When I first started making smoothies back in days of yore I had no clue what the hell I was doing. In fact, I didn’t realise they were made in a blender. YES, REALLY! This wonderful raw food goddess that types before you made smoothies in the FOOD PROCESSOR! Shine a sodding light!
Hello? Smoothie. Smooth-ie. Smooth. I’ve been to University and everything.
This wouldn’t have been so bad if I’d have kept my misunderstanding a private affair but oh no, didn’t I decide I was going to WOW everyone at my friend’s party by taking along my super awesome smoothie? I can’t even remember what the hell was in it. I do recall chunks of mango… Chunks.
Uhm, isn’t it supposed to be smooth?
Thankfully you don’t have to make an arse of yourself like me.
Understanding smoothie alchemy can take time or it can just take making the right smoothies right off the bat. Getting to grips with the basics, understanding the synthesis of ingredients and superfoods from the outset can save you a lot of time AND from looking like a moron.
If you want to get smoothie savvy, outglow all your friends and potentially cop off at parties (rather than cop out) then you my friend need this little sexy number.
The outrageously beautiful Robyn (aka Girl on Raw – hang on – why don’t I have a cool pseudonym?) has made it so easy for you to become smoothie savvy and SASSY with her latest ebook, Smoothies & Juices for Newbies.
Read this book and you will:
- Learn how to rock it with a smoothie – people will start calling you the smoothie SIREN (hey, that’s a great name!)
- Fast-track your way to the GLOW – like you can in the airport but where glow would obviously be the aeroplane. Must work harder on analogies…
- Get your five a day before you’ve even got your clothes on – drinking smoothies naked enhances nutrition! Fact.
- Feel more alive – 9 out of 10 zombies agree
- Know your smoothie shit – amaze your friends with your wonderful concoctions (and strangers at parties)
- Be as devastatingly beautiful as Robyn – we live in hope…
I’ve read this book and have been inspired by the simplicity and beauty of Robyn’s recipes (hello Strawberry Seduction and Banana Chai). If you’re brand new to smoothies and juices you are going to LOVE it.
This blog was written by Raw Food Scotland's previous owner, Emma Calvert. You can reach her at her new website, https://missmanifestation.com/