I remembered my old Bebo blog last night that I kept while going raw. It doesn’t contain every single day but will certainly give you a taste of my weirdy goings on. I think I was a bit mental actually 🙂 It’s funny reading over it now…
13th September 2007
No refined carbs
21st September 2007
Almost two weeks in to my no life diet and I’ve just been for my food intolerance test. Here’s the lovely list…
All Dairy – thought so
Pineapple – ate a full one of these to myself only a few days ago
Peanuts/Pistachios – don’t like anyway
Potatoes – i miss my mashed potato :'(
Yeast – no beer, or bread (with yeast in, obviously)
C h o c o l a t e
I’m staying relatively calm about the last one on the basis that I’m not intolerant to cocoa and I’m guessing it’s the dairy side of it. If it’s not, then goodbye everyone cos I’ll be killing myself shortly.
Spotted a 99% bar of chocolate yesterday when I was buying my hangover tea bags which DO EXIST!! I ordered 6 bars of choc from a website including Carob bar (DON’T BUY THIS, IT TASTES LIKE UTTER SHITE), dairy free orange chocolate, no added sugar chocolate, 87% chocolate (lame in comparison to 99%). Needless to say I instructed Rod to hide said items after I ate pretty much a whole family sized bar in about two milliseconds.
Anyways, I’m still sticking to my no life diet in the meantime but now I know what I can’t eat for sure woo hoo!
18th October 2009
I’ve decided to try and go raw. I’ve been dabbling the last week or two and it’s a total high and you really feel totally amazing. Ordered my recipe books off t’internet and pretty much looking forward to it. Granted winter probably wasn’t the best time as it’s fecking freeeezing.
23rd October 2007
This is freaking me out a little bit. Since eating more of the raw food diet and basically restricting myself to veg, fruit, nuts and seeds I feel different. I feel like I’m seeing things a bit differently and becoming a different person. For one, I feel quite happy and relaxed. Those that know me well know I’m a moody, grumpy, uptight shit most of the time so this is a good thing.
Today I was working in Aberdeenshire and as I took the train home I was becoming overwhelmed with the beautiful scenery on the coast, so much so it made the hairs on the back of my neck and head stand on end. It’s like I was seeing it totally differently or for the first time.
Then I was looking at cows drinking water out the field and I thought, could I kill a cow? And the answer was of course no, so I thought, should I be eating cows if I couldn’t kill them? Then I thought I could kill a fish so then I could eat one, but could I kill a chicken? I’m scared I want to be a veggie.
I got a really good book on the raw thing called detox your world and I’ve now finished it and think this is definitely the way I’d like to go. Rod is taking the utter piss out of me as last night I was talking about ions and he thinks I’m losing the plot.
And I think maybe I am, but then I thought maybe I’m finding it instead?
God this sounds like I’m on crack but this is the crazy things that have been going through my head…
29th October 2007
Last few days have been totally ace. That is apart from my hangover on Saturday which was completely awful. Don’t think I can handle my drink these days. Also had some chicken pakora with whitie sauce again which was cold this time but still rather enjoyable.
Anyway, still trying with the RAW thing and it’s going ok. Actually it’s fucking difficult, it’s a million times worse than stopping smoking no word of a lie. I’m getting there though, two meals a day are raw and the third is mostly raw. Made some nori (seaweed) wraps on Saturday (day of hangover). Put tonnes of energy in to cutting different things up dead small to stick in them. They’re a total bastard to get to roll. Needless to say I chucked them up half an hour later and won’t be touching seaweed again.
Still feeling a bit hippyish. Went for a huge walk in Blanefield yesterday in the pissing wind and rain and totally loved it. I climbed a tree which is fundamentally the best fun ever although climbing down the way is extremely difficult. Being 5ft6 and 8 stone makes branches particularly tricky to negotiate but hey it’s my new hobby!
So today someone at work said that I am looking really well and glowing which I’m putting down to the food thing (definitely not pregnancy). The biggest amazing thing ever though is the fact I’ve just made ice cream from nothing other than a banana!. This is the most amazing thing on earth and nobody can tell me otherwise. I’m in awe.
3rd November 2007
Woo hoo managed two full days of raw this week without any cooked interruptions. Major downside however is that I’m losing WAY too much weight. Rod has started referring to me as an ethiopian horrible person that he is. Anyway so this week I’ve not gone to the gym (what a terrible shame that is) and I’ve been loading up on calorific nuts. I’m having mad cravings for cashew nuts and mangoes. Ate a whole packet of cashews today at a lovely 1000 calories which I’m hoping will put some meat on my bones.
Speaking of which, also had chicken tonight, didn’t like it. I’m defo thinking vegetarianism is for me. I’m giving it until Christmas to fully decide but from now till then I’ll prob only have fish as chicken is too animally.
Really enjoying time with my friends just now, seem to be getting so much more out of it than I thought. Also meditating (or at least trying to) every night and started doing these Tibetan Rejuvenation Rites which I’m utterly pish at but feeling more relaxed as a result.
Oh yeah. Last night we went out for dinner with Em and Glynn. Menu selection wasn’t great but I managed to have the salmon minus the other five ingredients it came with so I just asked for salmon with salad. Stupid waitress comes along and as passing me the plate goes “oh are you being good tonight?” FUCK OFF! If she’d been handing the plate to Rod she wouldn’t have said that. Why do people assume you’re on some bloody woman diet? Actually I know why, not just because of stupid patriarchal society but because women are complete fuckwits. They go on stupid lose 100lbs in 2 days diets and think that after that they can go back to eating crisps and chips. And so they’re always on a diet. So so stupid, Why won’t people learn that diets don’t work? Oh yeah cos that would mean loads of people would stop earning loads of money off of idiots and women might actually stop giving a shit about whether their bum looks big in this! Rant over.
5th December 2007
Just made a new juice there which I thought I would call the green goblin but if I was being truthful I’d really call it the green utterly fucking minging juice, man celery is the spawn of satan. Anyone who likes it must need a mental health check.
Anyways, raw thing is going so well. I’m so utterly delighted with myself. Every day I get stronger and don’t think I need to go back to cooked food. Actually I think cooked food is an obsession and once you break the habit it’s easy. So many people have said oh I couldn’t possibly do that but it’s all bollocks you can do it, fucking hard to begin with don’t get me wrong and I’m being all smug right now but there will be times I’ll want to eat cooked food but it seems to be getting easier. I’ve still got loads of detox to go through so tough times aren’t over. On the plus side my weight seems to be stabilising, possibly from my new found addiction to raw chocolate “milk”shakes and gourmet raw food and also I swear my boobs have got bigger! bonus
My love and happiness hippy type thoughts are coming and going which I put down to the detox. My carma (which is karma for when you’re in the car) wasnt’ doing too well today. I called this old codger a stupid old bastard and then felt pretty bad afterwards. I’m so ageist! Speaking of which I have made a raw friend WOO HOO! He lives in Glasgow and is 20, I’m so in awe as he’s been raw for 3 years. Man, when I was 17 it was all fags, alcohol, rock music and bad men, can’t imagine being a rawist back then. Anyway, I’m so chuffed. Needless to say Roddy isn’t overly impressed and believes that this guy will stalk me and then come and kill him. However Rod says that when he tries to kill him he will just hold a grape over a lighter to deter. How amusing. I wonder if any other raw/non raw couples have the same conversations….I very much doubt it.
Rediscovered thinkin’ about you by radiohead yesterday and come on by the verve today. I love finding new old songs that you forgot about. Both utterly fucking mind blowingly good songs.
Right, I’m off to speak to my new raw friend, you guys can all piss off! Only joking of course. I need to convert you all first
17th December 2007
I picked some dandelion leaves out the garden today. I’m going to chuck them in my superfood smoothie later. Hilariously Roddy had dug up the garden in the Summer and put all the ‘weeds’ in a bin liner then left it in the garden. Amazingly the dandelion leaves are growing out the bag! How wonderful and clever nature is. So I have plentiful supply woo hoo! Just a bit pissed I paid to get the roses dug up, apparently they’re a superfood too. Oh well. Next summer I’ll be growing my own superfood patch
19th December 2007
Man I am fucking ace at green smoothies now. Today I made the mother of all smoothies which consisted of:
baby coconut juice
3 x medjool dates
1 x banana
1 x apple
2 x tsp raw cocoa powder
2 x tsp maca powder (peruvian donkeys love this stuff apparently)
2 x tsp flaxseed oil
2 x tsp spirulina (kind of green algae type stuff)
3 x tsp hemp seeds
I’m still buzzing…buzz buzz and my head felt floaty light afterwards
Anyone is welcome to come round and try one of these bastards, only if you think you’re hard enough mind! woo woo
28th December 2007
Just made a green smoothie but it tasted funny. I bought some fractionated (had to Google what the fuck that was) Coconut oil today which was to go a) on my face and b) in my mashed sweet potato recipe that Paddy (my raw friend) sent me. Anyway so then I add some to my smoothie along with another 30 ingredients (no joke of a lie) but somehow it didn’t taste right. Anyways, I’m still in love with the green smoothies. They have quite literally changed my life and I’d recommend them to anyone. I know I sound mental but they do alter everything. Oh, my sweet potato mash turned out no bad but I’m not sure raw potato agrees with my tummy.
On xmas day I had cooked (veggie) thai green curry which was really nice but threw me completely. It’s hard to believe that going back to cooked even for one meal can have such an effect but it totally brings you down. Anyway, I’ve resigned myself to this is the life I want to lead now so it’s unlikely I’ll be eating much cooked stuff again woo hoo!
Xmas was ok. I’ve decided next year to not spend a penny on presents and give it to a bloody kids home (not bloody kids, just kids). It’s such an utter waste of time and money and I can’t believe people (apart from true Christians obviously) still go in for the shite of it. I’m not being a bah humbug just a realist, honest to fuck can’t anybody see it’s a ploy to rid stupid people of money – I’m including myself here. Anyways, I’m STILL working on my xmas present to all my friends. It’s an artistic creation that I’m quite proud of and once it’s finished it’s going to hopefully be ace.
So…one of my new year’s resolutions was to wear more dresses, then I looked at making dresses then I decided fuck that. So my first resolution is a mixture of three to do with dresses if that is indeed possible. 1a, wear more dresses (easy). 1b, wear more natural clothing (linen, cotton), particularly dresses (bit trickier). 1c, say goodbye to stupid high-street fashion (easy peasyish I hope). I’ve decided that high street fashion is demoralising and a waste of time and money. I’m not going to try and keep up with trends that make me look the same as everyone else then go out of fashion in a day, fuck that. So I’m going to check out some vintage type stores and natural clothing shops. Woo hoo.
Resolution number 2… doo doo doo doo doo doo dooooo (trumpet). Look at giving up drinking. Lol “look at”, how concrete does that sound? Everyone who knows me well knows that I suffer theeeeee most horrendous hangovers. Unfortunately for me, these have gone a million times worse (post raw) and I’m finding it hard to justify to Mr Liver why I’m continuing to do this. If I want to be 100% raw (not that I’m a purist, actually I think I am) then I should technically avoid alcohol and this bugs me. So I’m going to try and see how far I get without drinking. Hmmm…
Resolution number 3… listen to myself more about everything. I know I think I’m usually right about everything and let’s face it, I am but I’m going to try and tune in to me, my intuition and where I’m guiding myself as to what I want from life. I think people don’t trust themselves enough because they are bombarded with “information” about what they should be doing in every aspect of their life. I am trying to let go of all that pish and I tend to find that when I do what makes me 100% happy then everything else tends to fall in to place anyway. One day last week I felt so in tune with my universe that I was literally high. Yes, I’ve turned in to a fucking mentalist ok I know that!!
Resolution number 4 – remove from my life anything or anyone that does not make me 100% happy 100% of the time.
That’s it, apart from the usual pish about spend more quality time with friends and family, that’s a given.
Man, this time last year it was 1. give up smoking 2. get more healthy. Job done
Peace and love to everyone xxxx even though you all think I’m mental
12th January 2008
So… anyone that watched health food junkies on ch 4 last night will now know my hidden raw shamanic ways. Yes, I drink my own piss, yes, I wear a magnet around my waist that electrifies parasites, yes, I stick a pint of nescafe up my arse every night and protect my vegetables from my evil fridge by strapping a giant magnet around it.
What the fucking fuck? What has that got to do with being a health FOOD junky?
Basically, the show was completely biased and looking to portray us raw people as maniacs. What was it even meant to be about because it spent about two minutes talking about food and the rest of the time focused on irrelevant pish. I know that Suki (one that drinks her pee) spent a whole day with the camera crew talking about how healthy and happy she is since turning raw, what she eats, how she found it etc. etc. and I know the other people would have too but they totally cut all that shit out. Also, apparently they were eating her raw chocolate all day and going oh yum this is totally amazing but was that shown? Pah
ANYWAY at least it’s a start. Even though most people will be going away thinking we drink piss. Oh, and another thing, what the fuck was that bit when Kate was with her kids at the beach. And the interviewers like “Can they have ice cream?” (duh) and she’s like “No, but they’ve just asked for an apple” and the programme’s all like, my god this woman is categorically abusing her children by not letting them have an ice cream. Hilarious bit at the end though where the interviewer is asking why arent the non-raw people dying out and Kate’s like – Well, are you sure you aren’t? People aren’t really paying attention to the prevalence these days of heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes, obesity, liver dysfunction, kidney dysfunction, arthritis etc etc. I mean, where do people think these things are coming from? The moon?
Anyway, rant over.
So, what have I been up to this week? Back to work and the post Christmas blues are fading away back to normality then… Went to pole class on Thursday, haven’t been in ages and you could tell. Could hardly hang upside down. Will need to get on it today to try and ease up the old joints. Since I gave up my gym membership I haven’t done bugger all but I’ve got yoga and pilates at the end of this month plus my Dad’s buying me a rebounder (trampoline thing) for my birthday. Woo hoo! Might seem obvious but it only dawned on me this week that that is why my weight has stabilised so probably when I go back to exercising I’ll be a skinny wretch again.
I had fun on Friday morning wretching my guts up having consumed vast quantities of cashew nuts the night before. Have decided to follow through on my new year’s resolution and listen to the fact that my body clearly hates cashew nuts.
I made a cracking curry last night. Think I’ve got the tikka massala sorted. I took a picture so I can post it on my raw recipe site. Going to make it for Allan and Scott when they come over for dinner next Sat. If they don’t like it I’ll eat the whole thing.
Excitement central. I’ve made some new raw friends. One is writing a book and has asked yours truly to read excerpts and give feedback. The other is putting together a recipe book and has asked yours truly to try out some and give feedback. Just call me THE EDITOR. I’m making this chocolate pear thing tonight so that should be nice.
Today I went to the west end and picked up some make your own lip balm and make your own perfume from a health store. I’ve got some peppermint oil and orange and lemon so I’m going to have a crack at that later on today. If it’s any good I shall give away to my friends. Gave away all my cosmetics and toiletries in a bid to be more natural. It’s shocking what is in some of those things you rub on yourself without questioning. I found a vintage shop in Shawlands, guess what it’s called RAW VINTAGE – hilarious. I went today and tried a few things but I’m uber skint so I’ll go back after pay day.
Went to my organic fruit shop in the west end today. Hilarity of hilarity. I picked up a bundle of blood oranges – I LOVE them so much. So I’m standing at the till and the guy goes
“I’m not sure whether you have to cook these or you just eat them” and I’m thinking, is he having a laff? Does anyone else see how amazingly fucked up that is? It’s a fucking orange, a fucking orange for fucks sake, why would I need to cook it? Bless his cotton socks though. We got in to a conversation about how orgasmic they are (he’d never tried one) and he ended up giving me another couple for free. How lovely. Maybe he was embarrassed.
So that was my highlight of the week. Sad point of the week – was sitting in McDonalds whilst friend Jo was having a coffee. At the table next to us was this family of four, mum, dad, and a boy and girl. All except the little boy were incredibly overweight. The girl must have been about 13. So the mum shouts over “What do you want?” and the girl shouts back “the usual”. How fucking sad is that? Clearly this family frequent McDonalds for their evening meal and this overweight little girl has a “usual”. Fuck me. What can you do eh?
22nd January 2008
I went to meditation class tonight at the buddhist centre. It was very relaxing. At one point I became totally and utterly aware of where I was and what I was doing that I started to laugh but I managed to stifle it so that Buddha wouldn’t have an eppy.
Yes very nice. I am a tree. None of you buggers better climb me
6th February 2008
Oh my what an incredible week I’ve had so far and it’s only Wednesday!
On Sunday I left for Banff. Usually I head through the hell that is Aberdeen and on up through the highlands. My sat nav however had a much better idea, yes let’s go via…near death! Why not come off before Perth and head through extensive mountain ranges? Yes that would be great fun. So there I was driving up very steep and winding roads, in fading light, past snow, past ski-ranges, being told by the sat nav to go up roads that were either farm tracks (we know what happens then) or roads that were closed due to snow. Driving along in the dark with not a house or other car for miles I wasn’t sure whether it was a good thing that there was a car behind me (incase I broke down) or a bad thing there was a car behind me (incase I broke down). Anyway, I got there in one piece if a bit shaky. I’m pretty sure the sat nav has it in for me big time.
Sooooo anyway, my cooked experience…. On Sunday when I finally got to Banff I decided I was going to eat cooked. I’d been going through quite severe emotional detox (which is what happens after a physical detox) and in a way I guess I wanted to either slow it down or stop it or maybe I just wanted to see what happened. So I ate a couple of cooked dinner and breakfasts and this is what I experienced: –
Excessive mucus production – how attractive but quite literally hacking up gloop by the bucket load
Swollen glands with sore throat
Zombiefied – utter brain fog, bumping in to things
Sleep in my eyes
Generally feeling like I’d been hit with twelve lorries and kept awake for four years
How exciting! To me that kind of suggests that my body treated the cooked food like poison. It was really quite interesting and only went to show me that I’m doing the right thing for me. The other thing I learned is not to say anything to anyone about what they eat unless they ask me about raw or whatever (fat chance). So my plan of action is to hit the detox again on Friday. Travelling away with work is tricky as I can’t very well cart my juicer, blender and wheelbarrow full of fruit and veg with me I’m going to do 7 days of green juices and smoothies to get myself back on track… hooray!
11th February 2008
Wow I am on a green frenzy. I can’t get enough of eating green it’s actually scaring me. I’ve just polished off a lovely little meal which was
-a pile of green goo (avo blended with watercress, spinach and rocket oh and lemon juice)
-smothered with runny green goo (proper raw pesto what I did make out of pine nuts, rocket, garlic (stinky emma) and tonnes of olive oil)
-served on top of green leaves oh and a bit of tomato just so I didn’t get carried away with my greens
That’s following an earlier green smoothie and three green juices!
I love it. Don’t know where my green cravings are coming from. Prob my body going ballistic in case I try and go mental again like last week. I actually was sitting thinking Greens are Jesus and then I decided they are actually God. And before you think I’ve gone mental (which I probably have already based on what utter shite I’m typing here) I mean in the way that in the Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy the answer to the universe or whatever was 42 – I think it’s green. Eat your greens should actually have been a commandment or whatever, I mean it should. Nobody should underestimate what green can do for you. Nobody reading this will be tempted based on this blog weirdness… Green is also the colour of the heart chakra, I think my heart is wanting fed.
13th February 2008
Wow I’m blogging big time of late. Just call me Jo Bloggs ho ho ho
Anyway. My periods have seriously fucked off of late. The last one I had was for about a day on 22nd Dec. I’m not pregnant. I had a long convo with my mother this evening about it along the following lines
Mum: You don’t have a period cos of this raw food diet
Me: Yes, quite possible, lots of raw people are saying they don’t have them anymore
Mum: Well that’s not natural, dogs and cats have periods
Me: Yes, dogs and cats eat cooked food. Why not compare to apes as they are our closest living relatives
Mum: Yes well they have periods
Me: Do you know that for a fact? I don’t…
Mum: Yes they do that’s how we all have babies
Me: Well it doesn’t make sense when you think about it, you don’t hear Richard Attenborough dodging out the way of trails of blood and female apes bleeding for five days
Mum: Yes well they live up trees so how would you know
bla bla bla
Mum: Well I think it’s best to stay as close to nature as possible
Me: Then why are you cooking your food?
Mum: Our ancestors were cooking food millions of years ago, monkeys eat other monkeys
Me: Yes but they don’t cook them first and how do you know we were cooking millions of years ago?
Mum: It was on telly. The other thing it might be is a brain tumour…
AND SO ON
Anyways, five mins later she emails me this
Which basically outlines that diet is related to bleeding whilst menstruating. If you think about it though, periods as we know them make zero sense from a mother nature point of view. Nature pretty much takes care of everything in a totally straight forward and uncomplicated way – periods, in the way we experience them these days, are neither straight forward or uncomplicated. I may very well be in a position where I don’t have bleeding periods anymore. Fucking A
Anyways, so my skeleton rant the other day. I started thinking that is the kind of stupid conversation I used to have when stoned and maybe these conversations are related to years of cannibis abuse. Maybe it is detoxing out my system? Actually I think raw food has the ability to act on similar parts of your brain
25th February 2008
Well I got pissed on Friday night and ate a whole load of shit – chips and cheese nonetheless (I don’t even like cheese) and an egg sandwich (yuk). Was a fab night though – went to The Shed with my friend Muz and felt about a million in comparison to the youth of today. Hell I can still strut my stuff on the dance floor but it’s a bit scary when you start to not know the songs anymore Hilarious moment however when some gay guy came on to Muz and started touching his hair! Don’t think I’ve seen Muz’s face contort like that before. Man I’m still pissing myself Before we went out I had a lovely fruit salad to start. I was so happy with it I made a smiley face with the grapes and apple bits left over. The chef was very impressed
Anyways, Sat met my Dad and went for lunch whereby he was extremely vocal about there being screaming kids at the table next to us. God bless him he has zero patience or tolerance. We had a good time though talking about growing older etc. and again I got drunk then headed to my mums and partook in some Champagne and a takeaway! Well, it is my birthday I guess but fuck me did I suffer on Sunday.
Why don’t I learn lessons? Maybe I have a rebel force in my brain that refuses to do what it knows is good for me… Anyway I was fucking not well on Sunday and resolved yet again to avoid alcohol and cooked food. See, the two go hand in hand really. I’m such an utter fuckwit when I’m drunk that i pay no regard to anything and far from preparing myself a lovely grilled salmon I opt for the lowest of the low. Anyway, onwards and upwards I’m feeling better but not 100% oh and I missed the Hoosiers cos of my ill ways.
Went to see cottage in Aberfoyle on Sunday with a view to buying however it needed fuck loads of work – literally knocked down and rebuilt. Shame. Still I’m sure something will turn up.
I’m completely in to this book I read called the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It’s about trying to live in the very moment and not build an identity for yourself based on past or future and not let your mind talk to you incessantly because in most instances it is working against you and always making you think needless things. Basically when you don’t think you just are and it is an amazing feeling to let go of past and future to let go of your ego which seeks to constantly narrate your life and seek identity in it. It tells you to start observing the thinker – the thoughts that come in your head and when you do it’s quite funny. You don’t judge your thoughts only observe them. And then when you say to yourself I wonder what my next thought will be, no thoughts come. Man I’m not explaining this very well but it fundamentally will change the way you see things if you read it and it’s so mindblowing that I’ve read it twice and I want to read it again. Oh and when you stop thinking about time and wishing it away and wishing you were at some point in the future which doesn’t exist then you are free of all this pain and torment. So I’ve stopped using my music to go back in time now. I think I needed this book as I was dwelling too much on the past. It really ties in with the meditation thing too and focusing on your breath. Breath is quite wonderful when you think that one day you took your first and one day you’ll take your last. When you think about it like that every breath seems kind of more important.
Speaking of taking your last breath – It’s my birthday on Thursday – hooray! 29. Rod and I are going to the West End to Kelvingrove Art Museum then for lunch. I’ve got my day retreat at the meditation centre on Sunday which will be ace factor a million. I’m off on hols all this week which is nice. I really needed a break from work. My manager’s workshops in Teeside last week were really good with the exception of three excessively negative managers. I have zero time for negativity these days. Complaining or moaning is non acceptance of what is. Deal with it, change it but don’t fucking moan about it – what purpose does that give? What incensed me more was watching their negativity spread like a disease. I hate negativity, that’s maybe why I hate the news these days. I literally have no time for people that are negative about stuff. I just need to learn to laugh about it then I’m sorted. Also, people south of Leeds don’t seem to have a sense of humour. I was relaying witty remarks left, right AND centre and got hardly any smiles. How can you not find the humour in the irony that I couldn’t spell school during the flipchart exercise? I pissed myself. And I also said I was an elephant at one point. You know, I think I’m not operating on a normal level these days. I’m on a higher frequency or some shit. And I think that because the last couple of days I’ve been totally dumbed down and back to my foggy head.
Anyway, I’m off to go make some chocolate pudding yay!
Peace out x
27th February 2009
I’m 29 in a few hours. I truly amn’t bothered at all. I don’t care about getting older really.
Anyway, still trying to get my head around this power of now shit. Here is a glimpse of what I’m trying to contend with
there is an object,
there is the Consciousness of that object,
and there is Awareness of being Conscious of that object
You see, you are thinking and then you are watching your thoughts (becoming conscious and present) but obviously you’re also aware of the fact that you are being conscious of your thoughts which is awareness. But, if I judged the initial object then that is just the object again, that isn’t consciousness unless I became conscious that I was judging my object and then aware of that. Fucking hell – it was much easier when I just got stoned every day
7th March 2008
So yeah last night I downloaded some old tunes and had a lovely time dancing around my bedroom singing in to my hairbrush, like I was 10! At first I thought nah I can’t pick up the hairbrush and sing in to it but fuck me it was great fun. And, when my hair got in my eyes from dancing too much it was literally on hand to brush it back – genius! Was singing all sorts from Ace of Base to Salt n’ Pepa. Couldn’t sing Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode cos well obviously I’m a girl and that would sound stupid. I think it’s called reconnecting with your inner child. Then I did some hand stands against the wall and that was crazy fun such a good way to get your mind buzzing. I’m going to do it more regularly – singing, hairbrush and handstands that is.
Then I went to bed and read my new book about Anastasia, this chick that lives in the wild in Russia and is at one with nature and all the animals and stuff and there are these cedar trees that are all powerful. Quite good, a bit out there but kind of up my street I guess. Which leads me very nicely to what I started thinking about after reading some of it. My street has all these massive fuck off trees up the middle. I mean, as tall as the tenements themselves, big fuckers. I have never even thought about them, never given them a second thought. How awful is that? They’ve been there probably longer than the flats so that’s what about 120 years? More even. How shocking that I’ve never even properly looked at them. In fact, I’ve sworn at the bastards a few times when I’ve fucked the bottom of my car of their big gangly roots. I actually want to hug one – I know, crazy. I’m going to be nicer to the trees from now on. Ha ha, now I am thinking of the Knights who say Ni from Monty Python. A shrubbery I’m going to plant some trees in my garden.
It’s my mum’s birthday today. I decided to take her to the safari park tomorrow but it’s shut – boo. So I thought I’d adopt an animal for her. When I looked all the elephants and tigers and bears and sexy animals had been adopted loads but poor llamas were out there on a limb with nobody to adopt them. So I’ve opted for a Llama. Kenneth the Llama. That’s the name I’m giving him anyway. Woo hoo.
What else? Yeah the Shamen. There’s was one of the first albums I ever had if you can believe. I think I was about 12. Anyway, I downloaded Comin On Strong which has a really funky beat and I was listening to the lyrics and bugger me it’s all new age hippy universey consciousness type stuff that’s er, up my street again. Check this out
With a vibe that is laced with consciousness
Inspiration, love, dedication
Keep coming yes we have revolution in progress
Reality changing, moving shifting us higher
To a connection with Gaia
Gaia is mother nature btw.
Anyway so yeah I’m fukin well impressed. It seems Mr C and the other dude were way ahead of me. Taking into consideration the utter gash that was Ebeneezer Goode. See, this is where they got the wrong end of the stick I think. It’s possible to achieve that higher level of consciousness without man made shit. There’s stuff in nature that can take you higher if you can’t get there by yourself or whatever. Actually that reminds me one of my raw online places sells mushroomy powders and potions that are all natural and raw for getting you high or whatever. Must try that out. It’s ran by a mad witch woman.
Anyway, best go do some work.
Oh I’ve met a raw person in Shawlands, so exciting. We can have wheatgrass parties and dance to the shamen yay!
Much love xxxx
8th March 2008
Last night my mum and I got a bitty drunk and uncovered the origin of the species, which was nice. We were talking about the theory that humans were shipped to earth from another planet or whatever and it dawned on me the real truth! I have always held true that humans evolved from apes but now I think that man evolved from apes but women were flown in from a far more superior planet and whilst geometrically speaking (?) we fit together that would totally explain why we are totally different species operating on different wavelengths. And, it nicely backs up both theories so everyone is happy Woo hoo!
Anyway so then we were watching mtv all night, relaxing after our wonderous theory building. All evening we were commenting on the niceness factor of the men beings we were watching and we compiled a list of super lovebeings as follows (in no particular order):-
Michael Hutchence (ok I said no particular order but he is number 1 of everything lets face it)
Adam Levine (maroon 5)
Tony and Brian from East 17 – yeah I know, mostly my mum’s choice but I agree
Phil Collins – totally my mum’s choice, totally!
James McAvoy I mean, JESUS
Robert DeNiro – see Phil Collins
So I was thinking that Goddess created these beings especially to be super love beings to make us lovely super highly evolved women go all wobbly and happy when we look at them, or listen to them, but mostly watch them And I’ve decided that Michael Hutchence is a walking manifestation of sex itself. Sex quite literally on legs, albeit dead ones…
So then we decided on a dinner party list of men who we’d invite for dinner but we’d do more listening than looking if you catch my drift. This is who we came up with
Elvis Costello – my mum might ask him to stay after dinner
I asked her what would be on the menu and she replied men which is funny actually cos men is in the word menu so effectively they are always on the menu
Hilariously I gave my mum the Power of Now to read. Needless to say she was under the illusion she’d be able to read it last night after we’d devoured a bottle of wine each. Hilariously she never made it past the first paragraph. Actually being drunk might help if someone reads it out to you…hmm
So yeah I was enjoying my drive over to my mums last night, well, when I say drive I mean 4 miles an hour over the kingston bridge in rush hour traffic. Anyway I’d bought myself a super duper 100 hits of the 90’s cd and was having a rare time to myself dancing away behind the wheel as I do (drivcing). The woman in the car in front was not enamoured with me let’s say. I think she thought I was going to drive in to her. I am more than capable of driving and dancing at the same time, it should be a mandatory part of the driving test I reckon. However it would appear I have the ability to get carried away and somehow think I’m in an invisible car as I seemed to draw attention to myself from a van of workies who did a wee dance as they drove past me. Well, you know what, what’s the point in being stuck in traffic and hating every minute of it. Turn up the choonage and party I say!!!
peace out x
20th March 2008
“The process of continually attuning to the nature and vibration of the universe awakens a deeper experience of the truth of the connectedness of all life”
I’m feeling positiviely lovely today. People have been so lovely this week. Two of the managers at work brought in raw bars for me to eat at the office and another manager gave me some books on cooking with intolerances. Ok so she’s about six months behind where I’m at but aren’t people really nice? I’m so believing these days that if you are positive then you attract positiveness and lovely nice smashing things happen and even when things that would normally annoy you happen they just aren’t that annoying anymore…
Anyway so everybody knows that Rod and I have now split and thanks so much to everyone who has offered me virtual hugs and an ear for me to kind of bend, big fat thanks. We are still getting on fine and Rod is making plans to move on once he has himself sorted. I’ll be staying in super shawlands even though a young guy got stabbed to death just up the road. How bloody awful, I didn’t hear it on the news but saw all the police and then Rod told me what happened. Literally what is wrong with people? I can’t possibly understand what drives people to commit such evil on others. If we were all better people these things just wouldn’t happen I’m sure of it.
If you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make the change – mr . michael of the jackson variety. Ok so there are some issues there with him and kids but such true words. The only way to change the world is for us each to make ourself a better person and that’s so easy to do if you want it to happen. When I was doing my meditation classes one of them was loving kindness wishing happiness on people etc. and it’s such a great thing to do and fills the world with positive energy rather than negative. Negative energy is not pleasant and creates all the horrible things that goes on today.
Ok so now I’ve sorted the planet out, what else? Ah yes, Easter, when Jebus rolled some easter eggs or whatever. I have exciting plans to see lots of my lovely friends and possibly get quite pissed. Hooray!
I hope everyone has a lovely time, those of you seeing me definitely will of course ho ho ho
Lots of ecstatic bliss type love and hugs and smiles and pats on the head and winks etc.
25th March 2008
I had such an amazing totally wicked Easter break. I spent time with all my lovely friends doing fab stuff. Only downside was Saturday which I spent in bed thinking I had aids or something cos I was dying so much. I think there is a very bloody good reason why Sambuca and Satan begin with the same two letters. Sambuca is evil in a glass and poisoned my pure little innocent body. Pesky evilness.
However, what I discovered yesterday, or at least what my lovely fab friend Gary helped me realise was that people have little voices in their head that tell them when they’ve drunk too much or should go get some water or shouldn’t drink something or whatever. Well! It would appear that my inner drunken self-regulator person is blind, deaf and mute! No wonder all these years I’ve been hungover. Poor bugger couldn’t communicate with me. It’s not nice having a disabled inner being that can’t protect you. Anyhow I’ll just need to learn how to communicate with it some other way…
What else? Yeah, how fab is doubling up with laughter? I was thinking about that last night on one of my cacao fuelled weird thinking things. It’s so amazing. You laugh so much your body doubles up OR goes back the way. I mean, why is that? Must be some biological reason why you do that. In my case it would probably be cos my laugh would alert predators to my whereabouts so I need to half my size to hide from them? I’ve had a drink tonight and that’s making sense so I’ll stick to that.
What else did I get up to this weekend? Hmm, oh yeah, helped paint my friend Scott’s flat with what appeared to be water cos it didn’t seem to make much of a difference to the walls. Had some time getting drunk playing pool in the Ark. Man, I can’t play pool but I was quite literally on fire and even potted two balls at once, how amazing. Then we had a brilliant alcohol fuelled discussion about ecstatic bliss, spirituality and religion and stuff which was great. I do love discussions. And then Gary came up with an alternative to ecstatic bliss called awesomeful wonderment which is such a great word! Love it. But then Bob ruined it all by saying that love is just some wonky brain processing or some shit. Sheesh, how wrong can someone be?
Last night was interesting. Ended up having raw choc milkshake followed by choc pudding and ended up awake until 6am! Goddess damn was I unimpressed. Brain was completely wired. Need to stop eating chocolate so late. Mind you, better than cooked – I did two drunk nights without cooked this weekend which makes me officially amazing. Yeah so all sorts of shit was going round my head and I remember at one point I was thinking that emotion has the word motion in it for a reason. You really need to be on a raw chocolate bender to experience the utter mince that you’ll think about. I was so completely telling my brain I needed to sleep but it was all like “no, fuck off, I want to talk pish all night”. Sigh.
What else? Oh yeah, got an amazing lecture off my Dad on Sunday following my hungover Saturday. But actually lectures are pretty amazing, gotta love your parent’s concern – especially when you’re an only child like me…and nearly 30. Don’t think I’ll tell him about the deaf, blind, mute thing
So yeah, highlights from the weekend
Scott asking the Indian to make me a lovely salad
Allan speaking in his sleep
Dad lecturing me
Reminiscing with Jo about our holiday last year
Going 2 nights drunk without resorting to cooked yay
Being shit hot at pool
5th June 2008
Woo hoo not written in a wee whiley but felt absolutely overwhelmed to put fingers to keyboard and manifest some thoughts in to be(bo)ing. Yay
Well, I have discovered something absolutely fucking tremendous. Have been really getting in to my raw culinary creations of late – actually riding a raw wave if you will – making amongst other things raw ‘toast’ smothered in coconut butter (which is an orgasm in a jar), vegetable croquettes, cornbread etc etc, Anyhoo the other day I bought a sprouting mechanism so that I could er, sprout stuff. Yes we all have at our power the ability to create and nurture life! Wow! Anyway so I sprouted sunflower seeds and buckwheat and it’s like watching tadpoles grow the way their wee tails sprout out and germinate or whatever. Fab. So they were finally ready to be eaten today and I’ve eaten the lot! Made a brilliant raw porridge and also a chocolate pudding thing and I feel absolutely flying. LIke the way I used to feel from massive amounts of green
There’s something amazing about eating food that’s living and jam packed to bursting point with enzymes and nutrition just waiting to dive bomb in to every cell in your body and give it a good seeing to Sprouting is the future man, I forsee it right now. I urge everyone to grow and eat their own sprouts at least once in their life – course it helps mixing them in with superuberoofoods like cacao and maca.
What else? I’m going to Nice yay! To the beach to sit and get some lovely sun and swim in the lovely sea and eat lots of yummy fruit and veg. So excited I’m peeing myself.
I’m also helping set up stuff for rawndezvous which is the name of the people opening the raw place in Glasgow. It’s brill to be involved in getting things going in Glasgow plus I’ve already manifested in to being a potluck picnic in Glasgow Botanic Gardens for end of June which will be Scotland’s first official raw get together so that makes me super happy and mega excited all at the same time.
Having went to Emma and Scotts leaving do (they’re going to America don’t you know) I got all nostalgic and remembered not to forget to remember how important friends are. So I got out all my old photos and made lots of lovely collages in nice golden frames (6 in all) which are going up on my bedroom wall to remind me how lucky I am – not that I need much reminding really.
My bedroom is beautiful, I have almost got it to the lovely haven of wonderfulness me and my kitties deserve yay!
Oh oh oh oh my friend lyns is moving literally across the road from me. I’m so excited I’ve decided not to move house after all and just turn my garden in to a vegetable patch!
peace out dudes (as muz would say (the dude bit that is, I stole peace out from gaz))xxx
8th June 2008
just going to interrupt this thought process to say that I’ve officially invented the most amazing pudding ever – coconut whizzed up in a blender with some water and a medjool date and some sprouted sunflower seeds mixed in – yum factor a million billiion! Just polished that off so felt it relevant to include.
Anyway so yes. Last week or so I’ve really stepped up a gear in my raw transformation if that’s the best way to term it. I was speaking to my raw friend Dave tonight and he was saying that you just keep moving up level by level (he’s 7 years in) so I guess that means I’m now on Level 2 ooh it’s like a computer game isn’t it? I’m going to have a raw birthday party when I reach a year! So yeah what I’ve found is that I’m really enjoying my own company and space and making my space totally loving and comfortable for me and surrounding myself with things that make me happy like my photos. I’m also hearing my body tell me what it wants to do/not do, when it wants to do things, what it wants to eat, when it wants to sleep so amazingly loud and clear as if the internal volume has just been taken off mute. And I am going completely with whatever it dictates, it’s the best way to live I think. I feel so light and full of love that I literally bound down the street some times skipping and feeling amazing love for all things and everyone. Yesterday in town I just kept wanting to run because I had such boundless energy bursting to get out. I think I’m more sensitive to things too and really feel things with my whole body rather than just my head. I’ve started accepting things more and allowing emotions to be rather than fight them. It’s amazing actually talking to yourself. I realise how fucking crazy that sounds but I mean when something pops in to your head just actually staying with that question/thought and trying to feel the answer rather than logicalise it – that’s not a word I don’t think but it’s the best I can find just now.
So yes, raw transformation knows no bounds and can only get better which is very unbelievably totally amazing. How good a word is amazing? I can only imagine what kind of flutterby I’ll turn in to further down this raw road, maybe a big fuck off one that eats men, no wait, that’s spiders isn’t it? I had a lovely time with a wee beastie yesterday. He landed on my arm and I sat and watched him for a while. He was clearly eating something off me, pollen or some shit no doubt cos his big tongue thing jumped up and down. Then he’d clean his legs then his wings. Amazing stuff. Have started feeling real connection to other living things, their energy even if just tiny small things is awesome. When I look in to my cats eyes and properly just for a moment connect with them on a being to being level it’s powerful stuff.
Have decided to cancel my gym membership – yay one month that must be a new record. I’ve found that dancing around my kitchen is way better fun and probably just as good if not better! I do love dancing. I need to get my pole back up and in action…
So anyway where was I? Yes my date. I think that the universe – oh yes that reminds me of a conversation I had last night about it being quite amazing that university has universe in the title (sort of), my date didn’t quite get the connection, I’m not actually sure I do anymore but last night it seemed very amazing and kind of ironic I think? Anyway stop rambling. Yes, so I think the universe wanted me to take something away from my date experience and I really do need to listen to it and sort stuff out in my head and close chapters and get moving on… Goddess I’m not explaining this well. I know what I mean (I think) so that’s all that matters. I’m finding it toxic to be doing things I don’t want to be doing and it’s not usual that I’ll do that for very long unless I think I might hurt someone. Ok I really don’t know what I’m talking about anymore
I do think it’s funny that I’ve moved from being Rick out the young ones to Neil, that’s almost tragic. We sow the seed…that’s my new catchphrase!
15th June 2008
One was terribly hungover this morning and whilst wide awake at 7am (having listened to jo snoring most of the night) I was listening to the clock in jo’s room and started wondering why do clocks tick? And then I thought well it must be to remind everybody that time is always there. But how stupid is that? TIck, tick, tick, fuck off. I think that time should be banned. Time actually doesn’t even exist anyway so why do we have it? I don’t think we really need it at all. I was having a laugh at “The time sponsored by accurist”, how can you sponsor time? ho ho ho
Anyway, the only ‘time’ that exists is right now so I say ban time and we’ll all just do whatever whenever. And then the news would be out the equation too. Cos news is always on the hour isn’t it? Apart from 24/7 news, which wouldn’t be able to exist. Big ben could get turned in to a greenhouse or something?
This morning whilst with Jo in bed we had a game of mallet’s mallett. How good was that game? We were both shit at it however. I don’t think hangovers help with cerebral connectors or whatever it is you require. Gosh I’m trying to remember how one went…
Er, I said ‘horse’, jo said ‘donkey’, i said ‘ass’ and she said ‘me’ then I started laughing and that was that game over.
I was thinking about oranges a lot this morning cos I was ill. I kind of moaned to jo a little bit about how I wanted oranges. Ok so I went on about it quite a lot and actually texted her to go get me some. Anyway so she did. Lovely jo. So I sat in her bed eating my five oranges. I then started to explain to her how i had manifested in to being these oranges from my thoughts and that only an hour earlier they were just orange thoughts in my head and now they were oranges in my hands. Magic. She didn’t quite understand but wondered if she could manifest in to being someone to tidy her kitchen so when she was in the bath I did it and pretended it was kitchen elves Friends are great…
On the way home in the taxi I was very not feeling lovely but had the window down and was enjoying the fresh air, sunshine and drive home past parks. Then the taxi driver turns up the music and it’s INXS’s beautiful girl which is such an amazingly chilled lovely song and I think we both enjoyed that. Sometimes I think taxi drivers are angels, other times i think they are little devils. Then Tom Jones came on – it’s not unusual. I knew the words but didn’t really think about them before. It’s such an upbeat song and then Tommy pipes up, ‘it’s not unusual to see me cry, I want to die’. That’s a bit ott isn’t it? He should get out more I reckon…
Surprise of the week – finding out I’m more shy than I thought
Yay – saw my dad
Boo – going to London tomorrow
all you need is love… xxxx
2nd July 2008
I’ve decided I want to learn to tap dance so I can tap dance to RnB music cos I think that would be bloody good fun.
I’m thinking of learning Reiki too so I can do it on all my friends
I’ve discovered a rare talent in being able to consume vast amounts of raw cake. I shall change my name to cake eater extraordinaire. Might make ordering a taxi tricky. Yes that’s a taxi for Miss Extraordinaire. Fuck me, that sounds excellent. Note to self, visit depole office tomorrow.
I met a Doctor I liked this week which made a nice change. Even though she told me my bmi was too low. What the hell does she know anyway, bmi shbmi that’s what I say…
Ecstatic wondermentful loveliness xx
I’ve decided I’m a shiny happy person
7th August 2008
I am feeling so good it’s unbelievable. Just got back from a 3 mile jog – loving it. Sitting down just now with my banana smoothie made with coconut water. Have finally mastered how to open a green coconut without a machete. Fucking spot on. Took me half an hour to open one yesterday and I just missed stabbing a main artery with my knife – naaaaaasty.
Anyway. On my jog I thought lots of wonderful magical things. I’m going to get a bike.
Yeah so one – a bike. I’ve also decided fuck it, I’m gonna run a half marathon. Well jog it. I’m loving jogging. It’s so easy. It’s so much better than the stupid running machine. I just go around and about wherever I want it’s well cool. So yeah two – a half marathon.
What else? Oh yeah. I only won a fucking state of the art security system for my home today!! So excited I almost peed myself. It’s weird cos when I was walking away from filling in the form I was like “I’m gonna win that” and I did.
There’s this whole universe thing going on that is so amazing. I read this book Ask and it is Given and it mega works man. All you’ve got to do is put yourself in the frame of mind that you have these things or they’re coming to you and they do! I’ve been getting money and stuff I need left, right and centre. It’s fucked. I can totally sense money coming my way and I don’t know when or where or how much but it’s just this feeling.
What else? Hmm, have been uber shit with raw for the last um 4 weeks! Shocking. Have been yo-yoing from 100% to 0% some days. Man I forgot what it’s like to feel like shit all the time. I can’t get out of bed when I’ve eaten cooked the night before. I stink! My breath stinks! I feel easily agitated – it’s mental times infinity. Anyhow I’ve now started a video diary to help keep me on track. Emma’s 100 day raw food challenge started today. Gotta get the raw going. It’s a high.
I need a new shower curtain.
Am thinking a round the world trip might be in order for my 30th. Yep have been thinking that alot. More to follow…
Oh oh oh have made 2, count them, 2, new raw friends in Glasgow! Going to raw cafe on Sunday with them then Free on the Fringe. Friends are the best. Lucy is a bit mental like me which I’m loving. Meant to be going fruit and veg picking on Saturday but it’s rained a million metres of rain so not sure. All my lovely food that I started growing is drowned 🙁 I’m trusting mother nature to sort it out. She’s some gal.
This blog was written by Raw Food Scotland's previous owner, Emma Calvert. You can reach her at her new website, https://missmanifestation.com/